Parisienne have been romanticized by women of all ages for generations and all over the world, they are the synthesis of sophistication, fashion and beauty. As I stroll through images and research my Parisian Lifestyle Makeover I have come to the conclusion that they have a much healthier view on beauty than we do. You won't find her spending hours on her hair and makeup trying to hide her father's nose. Parisiennes are not obsessed with large boobs, blonde hair, extensions or plastic surgery. She won't change her natural eye color to turn her brown eyes blue. It's not because genetically they are more superior to the rest of the world, what makes her so beautiful is her attitude.
She is described as arrogant, aloof and even rude but still we want to be her, why? I think the easiest way to explain it is understand what that means exactly because it is not the same as the 'mean' girl mentality of our high school days. It goes much deeper and although typically we use these terms as a derogatory description of someone we don't want to be in this case these 'traits' are what makes her beautiful. I know it sounds ridiculous but just go with me on this before you come to your conclusion.
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?Arrogant
Typically not something we want to labeled as but the Parisian woman is arrogant and she is not ashamed or insulted by that. She is arrogant because she does believe she is beautiful in fact she may even think she is the most beautiful woman in the room and if she doesn't believe that she will portray she does. That confidence makes us believe she must be beautiful lets face it we are sheep influenced by society and the media so if she knows she is beautiful we believe her.
?Rude
This is a cultural thing and remember that Parisiennes pride themselves on good manners so on a whole being rude does not translate to being beautiful. What she isn't is warm, bubbly or giddy to every person she meets. She doesn't smile at every stranger that makes eye contact or embrace every person she is introduced to. She loves to debate and will even take on a different view that she does not believe to argue. The Parisian woman is not an open book nor is she in need of befriending everyone she meets. I am actually pretty friendly it's just my nature but if you are not careful it can come off insincere, even off putting. She will smile, even be friendly and when she is it is genuine.
?Aloof
She is hard to read making her mysterious which translates to sex appeal. We all know men want what they can't have. If you have ever broken up with someone and really move on all of the sudden he is desperate to have you back. You don't need to tell everyone everything you are thinking or feeling instead take a cue from our idealized French woman and refrain from TMI. It is about drawing people and giving them just enough to want more, yes this is about creating sexual appeal and she does this even if she is not interested him. This is a skill her mother taught her at a young age its part of The Art of Being a Woman, the Parisian version.
Parisiennes don't follow fashion, fashion follows them, ok it is an arrogant statement but how it translates is she wears what she likes, what looks good on her and doesn't need to wear this seasons 'it' outfit. To wear head to toe designer pieces is frowned upon, even looked upon as rude or bragging. In fact she will never discuss money period if she has it she will be embarrassed about people knowing. She is more likely to talk about a cheap find and mix those items with her designer pieces but her new Chanel bag she will wave off with a this old thing. She is not a slave to fashion while being our ideal of fashion. Some of that has to do with the economy an inability to buy a new wardrobe every season and the lack of closet space the typical woman has. She relies on a Capsule Wardrobe based on quality of quantity that fits her lifestyle.
Rules of Fashion
?Wear evening attire during the day and jeans with t shirt at night. Translation Rebellious
?Dress for the weather. She does not want to look 'frivolous' or like she is trying to hard by wearing a little dress with stilettos in the middle of winter. She thinks it looks ridiculous to stand around shivering from the cold weather. If it is raining or snowing wear clothes and shoes that are weather appropriate.
?Honor, dress to honor yourself because you deserve it. Don't keep or wear clothes that are stained, have holes or don't fit not even to wear around the house or to bed. What do your clothes say about you and are they projecting the right image?
?Mix high end pieces with cheap finds, for her this is the difference between fashion and style and as we know she does not want to look like she is trying too hard. It should look like she just through her outfit together.
?No logos, the line to get in Louis Vuitton is not full of French woman but tourists. It is rude, in fact it is bragging to wear a bag covered in the LV logo and now with the economy being the way it is she is almost embarrassed to tell people what she spent. She will justify it when she is asked by saying 'oh this old thing I got it for practically nothing'.
?The Parisian woman sticks with neutral, classic separates that she has cultivated for her Capsule Wardrobe. Color is used sparingly but never too much color(s). She would rather own on black cashmere sweater than 5 cotton blend ones.
?She will mix feminine with masculine, silk with leather or evening wear with casual day pieces. Doing this creates more interest, 'personal' style and it expands her wardrobe which is limited. Translation contradiction.
?Parisiennes are not driven by fashion/trends however they will pick up some items, typically accessories, to update their Capsule Wardrobe. There is nothing wrong with wearing the same thing two or three times in a week just style it different.
She strives to look like she doesn't care about what she looks because she is beautiful and doesn't need to spend a lot of time getting ready. Her makeup, if she even wears it, is kept minimal and natural. There will be no contouring, highlighting or complicated makeup looks after all those are meant to hide the way you look, something she does not have to do because she believes she is beautiful as is.
The Parisian woman is rebellious. She will cross the street in the middle of the block because she is not suppose to. She has 'rules' but one of those 'rules' is to break them whenever you want. She doesn't like to be told what she can't do. She does what she wants to do not what other people/society dictates she should do. A black lace bra under a white t is part of her 'must have' list after all why hide something so beautiful. She will unbutton a shirt just enough so if she casually leans over you can see her bra but it should look unintentional.
Be adventurous do things that take you outside your comfort zone. Again she does this for 'sexual appeal' because it is sexy, intriguing and keeps you interesting. On a date she will order the most exotic thing on the menu to show him that she is adventurous. Trying new things, opening herself up for new experiences is alluring, sexy, interesting and it is part of what makes her beautiful. Go out for dinner by yourself with a book and sit in the middle of the room so you are seen don't slink into a corner and try to hide. I spent a week in Mexico by myself, going out for meals or cocktails alone and it was one of the best experiences I have ever had. I didn't feel like I was being looked at because people thought I was sad and alone in actuality they came up to tell me they wish they could do that. One older gentleman said it was one of the sexiest things he had seen in a long time.
She is a contradiction which keeps her interesting because knowing what to expect can get boring. It is evident in pretty much everything about her from her appearance to who she is and just when you think you have her figured out she changes it. On a first date she won't wear makeup and dress conservatively but you may see her at the market in the morning wearing red lipstick and a pair of stilettos. The Parisian woman loves to 'argue' so she may take a position she doesn't even believe in to debate with someone. She is complicated and all of it is designed to create sexual appeal, not necessarily because she is interested in someone for her it is important to be wanted even if she is happily married with no intention of actually starting something. She has an attitude of not needing anyone which works to create 'sexual appeal'.
Never be afraid of aging, with age comes wisdom she is proud of what she has learned through her life experiences. The Parisian woman wants to be a role model for younger girls and women. She wants to teach them what she has learned on her journey whether it is about appearances, love or learning how to get back up after a fall. Younger women don't upset her, she doesn't find them to be lacking in fact she will surround herself around them and they are interested in her wisdom, they respect her wisdom. Wisdom is sophistication, which is sexy and translates to being beautiful.
Fake is never beautiful. Parisiennes will whiten their teeth but not too white or it will look like she is trying too hard and does not portray the 'I woke up like this' philosophy. She will get botox or fillers but she only pick one thing to fix and it will be done subtly so it doesn't appear she had anything done. The desired affect is too look better but for people not to be able to tell why she looks better. She will never tell anyone what she has actually done, maybe she is getting more sleep or perhaps her sex life has improved greatly giving her that glow. She will not wear, carry or purchase counterfeit items it is a huge no-no instead hunt for a gently used quilted Chanel bag, save up money or buy a good quality bag with no label but never buy a fake Coach bag you find in Mexico. It screams 'fashion victim', you're not fooling anyone and it looks tacky. No one, no where has uttered the words 'she is so beautiful, elegant and sexy with her cheaply made fake logo covered Coach bag', I keep using the Coach reference because I see that one all of the time.
Aphorism, get an aphorism and repeat it out loud in the mirror every morning, night or when you need it. It could be 'I love my nose, it is the nose of my father', 'I am beautiful' or 'I will get that promotion because I am .......' if you say it enough eventually you can/will change the way you think. In other words fake it until you make it. You don't have to have just one and it can change as you change. It should be positive with no apologies, excuses or justification because you are worth it. You are not beautiful because...... or you could be beautiful if .............. it defeats the purpose of saying your aphorism. Change your perspective, change your reality. When I am having a flare up and the spikes of pain feel like I am being stabbed or my bones are breaking I repeat 'stay calm, nothing is actually being broke or damaged and it will pass'. That phrase has eliminated a few pain pills a day and actually helps in making the flare up go away faster, I'm not feeding the pain.
She believes to be beautiful you have to be more than a face or a dress. You have to be more than big boobs, blue eyed perfection because sooner or later you have to open your mouth. The Parisian woman would rather be well spoken, cultured and intelligent over being perfectly coiffed. It is more important to be remembered for how intelligent you are rather than the Chanel dress you wore. She strives for style over fashion. Style is not about your clothes but who you are, your confidence and ability to handle yourself in any situation. She doesn't need to be like by everyone so she won't change who she is to please others after all she is beautiful, intelligent and comfortable with who she is to change that would be silly.
Her Rules for obtaining/maintaining her beauty:
?Enrich your life with your extracurricular. Visit the art museum often, go to the theater, opera, ballet or to listen to classical music it will give you a glow.
?Have a glass of wine every night
?Don't feel guilty about an affair. I am not saying go out and cheat but perhaps if you are still single and you have a one night stand don't feel ashamed or guilty.
?Always wear nice lingerier it will make you feel sexy and if you feel sexy you look sexy.
?Find your signature scent. It should be faint something that lingers not hits him in the face. She will speak quietly to make him have to lean in to hear her so he can take in her perfume, smells trigger memories so if he smells it in as a woman passes by he will think about you.
?Always be desirable. Everything I read says the same thing, always look f**kable even if you are running to the market you never know who you will run into.
?Be present in your own life, enjoy what you have instead of wanting 'more'. Drink in everything around you like it is the first time you have ever been there, ate it or drank it. Savor that cup of coffee or soak up the sun as if it were the last time you will have that opportunity.
?Don't be afraid of aging beauty has no expiration and with age comes sophistication which is beautiful.
?Read, read a lot be seen reading about everything from current affairs to romance. Bring it with you everywhere you, pull it out and read at the park or the cafe but read often because knowledge, culture and having something to talk about is beautiful.
?Never be too available. When he calls tell him you are busy and tell him you will call him back in 10 minutes. Never be available if he wants to see you today or tonight, you have plans. You deserve more thought than that so accept no less than what you deserve.
?Be selfish, say no even if what you are wanting to do is soak in a tub or read a book. You do not need to make an excuse why you can't you just can't. If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to take care of anyone else. This alone time spent on just you will prevent premature aging, to recharge and gives you that glow.
?NEVER deprive yourself if you want chocolate cake eat chocolate cake just in moderation. A couple of bites will satisfy your craving without the guilt. Indulgence is sexy.
?Signature piece this is something that you love that either you saved up for or some great find from the flea market. It is something that finishes out your look, that makes you feel good/beautiful. Think of it as your armor that protects you from everything an everyone.
The definition of beauty in the United States and other countries is something that is dictated to us, typically corporations are creating those concepts to generate money. It is something that I have written about a lot and will keep writing about because I think this is something we need to be discussing so this 'attitude' Parisian women have on what beauty means, to me at least, seems more healthy and realistic. If you page through images of Parisiennes they aren't more beautiful than we are. She doesn't have perfect features, perfect hair or masterfully applied makeup. They are not running out and getting breast implants or botox because their beauty doesn't rely on their outward appearance. Her beauty is cultivated, passed down from generation to generation and is who she is. Her crooked nose gives her character because sometimes the beauty is in the flaws. She won't refuse to go out or spend hours trying to get her hair just right after all a bad hair day is the perfect time to wrap that Emilio Pucci scarf she found at the flea market around her hair in a turban.